how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
