i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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