K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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