i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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