oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
