Betty ford says i'm here all night
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
