i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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