Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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