Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
