sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
