she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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