That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize
