Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
