ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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