Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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