Moan for me like Helen Keller
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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