Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
