Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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