i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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