I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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