i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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