so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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