woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
