id be glad to
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
