at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
