Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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