i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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