four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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