I'm going to jail i love you
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This toilet bowl is my home.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
