Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
