at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
