We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
