We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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