i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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