it's like iHOP with fire
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
