he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
