I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
