i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I enjoy the company of your penis
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
