Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
