oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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