she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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