We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
