well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
last night I used snow as a chaser
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
