Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
