I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
