quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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