And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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