You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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