I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
