yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
