i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize