Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Someone shattered a urinal.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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