Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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