But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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