I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
