Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize